So, my big thought of the day is “how different is our greysession, or any other healthy relationship with a book, different from fantasy sports leagues? Here’s why I am asking and hoping to learn. For those of you who are not blessed with a sports-obsessed husband, fantasy sports (let’s choose football), is a game where the participants pick their own team to manage and then go against another team. How your “fantasy” team does depends on how they “professionally” do in the “real” game we all see on TV. Awake? Barely? Well, let me tell you girlfriend – this is a year round thing and they also hold “drafts” which means yes, they all get together to draft their team. And this highly anticipated event can/does include weeks of research, lots of beer, a 1 or 2 night venture away, and oh, the stress of who they will draft and who should they keep from last years’ roster. Ok, moving on because I’m boring myself with this blog. I’m too tired to hold my finger on the delete button so I’m just going forwards. And quickly. I guess my point of discussion is that these fantasy sports (and it’s all sports ladies, the game that never ends), are a billion- dollar industry since the internet evolution. AND I’VE GOT FANTASY ISSUES??? Yes, that deserved shouties. It goes back to my saying from the last post, we are all different. Yep, I know that. But I’m just standing up for the sisters here. Because I’m getting a bit tired of the haters. Sure, these books are what’s trending now, and there’s definitely media overload, especially now with the casting for the movie now in works. But this sensationalized topic is no different then the “casting” for each new season of football. We have 24 hour sports stations women!! I know, because I get to turn it off ESPN every night, then pull the remote from Jim’s hands. And with football season upon us, my hubby will start researching players, thinking of who he will cut from last year’s team, and wait for it……the spreadsheets will surface. Oh, and the budget. Let’s not forget the budget. No, not my Target budget (that doesn’t exist actually), it’s the budget you allotted to purchase your team. See, each player is worth money and you have to buy your players wisely and within budget. Gee, I think I’ll forward this post to the Obama administration. Clearly the men of fantasy sports have missed their calling in life~ NFL commisioner and balancing the national budget. Now your thinking, “This shit is serious. It’s like a full-time job.” ummm yea, pretty much. So if/when your husband or any other male hater starts givingn you the rolling of the eyes/”mommy porn”/obsessed and desperate- for- love/ Christian Grey doesn’t exist/, you can say this, “You know your fantasy football team isn’t real, right? Hence, the word “fantasy”. And you are not a real coach or owner of a team. You are playing make- believe, so stop stressing over who you will put in as quarterback this week. I love you honey, but you are playing glorified Dungeons & Dragons. Like from high school. Oh, and one last note- wearing that jersey that cost more than the flowers I get on our anniversary does not mean you actually play for the team. You are not even the honorary water boy. Now if you’ll excuse me, I think I hear Christian calling me.” Feel free to add lib in there, but really drive home the D & D comment. It really makes the whole statement, wouldn’t you agree? 😉 Now with that whole rant done, first let me say that it doesn’t truly bother me that my husband thinks he is Tom Coughlin. Sorry I’m a Giants fan, and no I don’t wear a jersey! Seriously, go crazy, embrace the freakdom as I always say. Just don’t look at me with your stressed face and then ask me what should you do about your defense this week. Because I can’t pretend to care in the slightest. We can all fake a few things ladies, (wink, wink) but not concern about your fairytale, I’m going to be winner winner, chicken dinner of the week. Just like they would rather watch paint dry then comfort us over the latest cast ranking of our personal Christian Grey. Oh but how fun would a casting Fifty Shades League be? Hmmm, something to think about. Crazy with a side of creativity has her wheels turning over here. And FYI, if anyone needs a little love, it’s me. And Kelly for that matter. Because our Christian Grey has about enough chance of being cast as I do for Ana. As you know, Christian Bale is our Christian Grey. I group Kelly in this because we are team Bale from the beginning to the bitter end. He is HOT, a most amazing actor-hello, did you see The Fighter? And don’t get me going on American Psycho (and those lovely ASSets to boot)- funniest lines in that movie but that’s a whole other blog, but have to mention “Don’t just stare at it, eat it.” ha! Practice what you preach, Mr. Hottie;) and he’s got just enough whack-a-doodle to play fifty’s dark side. Ok, I’ll end it there because the Bale pep rally consists of Kelly, myself, and a set of pom poms I stole from the kids. So keep your head, heels, and standards high my greysessed sisters! Because the male species are just as into fantasy play as we are! If only they’d bring that team spirit into the bedroom, Christian-style. What? I don’t think ripped jeans, a silver tie, flogger, and calling me Ana in the Batman voice is too much. Do you? Maybe I could compromise and speak “football”. “Ok Christian, give me your balls, I mean the ball. Ready, set, hut”. Lastly, I dedicate this post to Nora Ephron, amazing screenwriter, director, and woman who just passed away. This is for Nora, who gave us the most memorable scene on “faking it”. http://youtu.be/F-bsf2x-aeE
From: Jacob black
Date: April 08:05
Hey. Thanks for the song i guess but you know I’m not 100% good with being a wolf and all. But glad my cargos still hold a special place for you. So explain the” laters ” blah blah blah, copyright signature. And don’t lie to me because I’ve been researching this Fifty Shades crap. You are not Ana FYI. Oh surprised I know her name? Your lil jakey has had lots of time since Bella ditched me for Mr Sparkles. And then I get the ©? I’m on to what’s going on. It’s called an adrenaline rush. You can google it. And why do I feel like I’ve heard that somewhere? Anyways, I feel like I’m losing us. What does this book have that I don’t? Tell me because I really don’t want to read it.
From, shaky paws Jakey ps- look what I found on facebook. Sorry I’m now stalking you to get answers. Have you forgotten what your first Escala was? See pic #2 for a reminder.
Btw- know this song? My new stalker anthem for you since you won’t tell me anything. I’m kidding! Who would want a stalker for a boyfriend?? 😉
Hi all, there is a link at bottom of part 2 “the boy I used to know” if u want to be able to just click and listen, then do it on a laptop. I tried on my phone and doesn’t auto link. Thanks and love
Welcome back #greysessed fans! I hope you are enjoying my posts, and that you are caught up in reading them. At least read the last post, “The Boy I used to know” so that you understand what has been going on. I am not sure how all of you are handling your Greysession, but over here it seems like I can only handle one obsession at a time. But when a new greysession has taken over your thoughts, time, sleep, and overall welfare of your household~something’s gotta give. Well, for me it has been the once-loyal and loving relationship with Jakey. Yes, Jacob Black from Twilight.
Now, I’ll have you know that it didn’t start out all “hearts and flowers”, excuse the steal from Christian but there is bound to be a crossover of sorts with these things. When Twilight first emerged, I was not a Twihard from the get go. In fact, I hardly read. Ok, honestly I never read. I am a true magazine whore and still am. My bathroom is stacked with shiny magazines galore ranging from Rachel Ray to Us Weekly and every Twilight memorabilia keepsake magazine. Don’t know why I didn’t read much, but can’t imagine life without books now! Who turned me on to Twilight was my partner in crime, Kelly. Our daughters went to preschool together and that is how our friendship was born. She kept telling me to read the books and that I would love them but I wouldn’t budge. I actually saw the movie first, then afterwards was like, “Hand them babies over Sister.” And read them all in a week. I turned Twihard as fast as Jake can phase on the fly.
But my relationship with Jake did not flourish until New Moon. Until then I was all about Edward. That was until we realized that there was a $4 movie theatre about 25 minutes from our house and that New Moon was playing there. Kelly and I started going 1-2 times a week to see New Moon. And maybe after the 15th or so time (yes, you read right and you’d be there too if you could escape your kids for a night for $4) and for the record I will tell you that we probably saw New Moon about 40+ times. And I say that loud and proud. So obviously from previous posts, I like to take a passion and run with it. Really run…like marathon run. Tight like this peeps (fingers crossed), right? We all need a happy place and at that time is was called Beltway 6. Ok, so after the umpteenth viewing, there was that moment that bitchy Bella says, “don’t make me choose because it will be him. It’s always been him.” and poor Jakey, who has saved her dumb ass more times than Ana bites her lower lip, just stands there needing a group hug. And you can’t help but think, “geez I just love that kid.” How can you not love him? And for the record-I love,love, love Edward in the books and generally speaking. But for god’s sakes, can he look any worse in New Moon and Eclipse? That’s another whole blog in itself and I don’t want to go all Joan Rivers on the red carpet here. Dang it I have to just say one thing and I’ll move on…green hoodie. Seriously costume department????? Like Edward friggin Cullen would ever wear a green “I rushed here as soon as I could but was studying while wearing this horrendous looking sweatshirt.” And the dumb hair to boot. All you Edward lovers have now unfollowed me, but c’mon you were thinking it too;)
So ever since our marathon run at Beltway 6, Kelly and I have loved that sweet wolf. More than I care to share with you until the background check from Welch has been approved;) Below is the continuation of emails that tell the story of Jacobgate and (spoiler alert!) how eventually he and Christian cross each others paths. xoxo
From: Jacob Black
Subject: SHOUTY CAPITALS?
Date: April 1 2012 9:03
Are you serious with the shouty capital reference? Don’t feel like arguing with you, or whatever it is we are doing. Just miss ya…sending you a pic and a little music reference to make you smile and think of me:)
” Now and then I think of when we were together. Like when you said you felt so happy you could die…..but you didn’t have to cut me off. Make out like it never happened and that we were nothing….Now you’re just somebody that I used to know.” (Gotye)
No, that isn’t my Christian Grey breakup song. That is the song that seems to be on the radio the exact time I get in my car. Every. Single. Time. And do I seem a bit bothered by it? The answer is yes. Because it reminds both Kelly and I about the boy we used to know and love. And how we somehow lost him, quickly. It will come on the radio, and that moment of silence enters the swagger wagon. Then we will just give a knowing glance to each other and then quickly change it to the Fifty Shades soundtrack. But it lingers-that longing feeling that we aren’t quite sure what to do with so it sits on a shelf. Not the shelf that holds a certain series of books and memorabilia to match. But the personal shelf we carry with us inside that weighs more than a four-book collection. This shelf holds a series of emotion ranging from denial, sadness, depression, and acceptance. So what is this loss Kelly and I have been dealing with you ask? It is the love of a certain “hot” dog… and his name is Jacob Black. Yes, Jakey as we call him, was once the center of our universe and we dropped him quicker than Christian Grey can drop his drawers. But perhaps I need to share in what’s become of my relationship with Jakey. And in doing this, it means to let you in on some personal information. But we are tight, right fellow greysessed girls? So what happens online stays online, right? Good:) So let’s go back to the beginning of the end (or is it?)….
————————————————————————————————From: Jacob Black Subject: hello? Date: March 28, 2012 17:03 To: Michele Hey there, wanted to see how your flight back to Maryland was. It was great seeing you in LaPush and so glad you got to finally see the reservation. My dad loved you and Kelly and says you are welcome back any time! ummm, don’t quite know how to word this but is everything cool with us? You seemed a bit distracted while out here but maybe I am just reading into things too much. Gotta run-Billy needs a ride to Bella’s house. -Jakey __________________________________________________________________________ From: Michele Subject: re:hello? Date: March 31 2012 19:27 To: Jacob Black Hi, sorry for the delayed response. It’s been sort of crazy since I’ve been back from Forks/Seattle. I had a great time seeing you on the rez and finally meeting Billy. Loved hanging with Quil, Embry, and especially Seth. Things are good between us. I’ve just been distracted I guess. I have been reading this book series called, “Fifty Shades of Grey” and its had me up at night while out west. But no worries, we are good my favorite wolf;) xo, Michele _________________________________________________________________________________ From: Jacob Black Subject: Seattle???? Date: March 31 2012 20:02 To: Michele As the heading reads, Seattle?????? you never mentioned Seattle when you came to Forks. Why is that? What’s the deal? Explain please. Does it have to do with these books? I am not feeling like your #1 wolfy right now. -Jake ______________________________________________________________________ From: Michele Subject: Keep your fur on Date: March 31 2012 20:16 To: Jacob Black Like my heading says, KEEP YOUR FUR ON! ←and those are what we say in CG’s world, SHOUTY CAPITALS! You are still my #1 wolfy and Kelly’s too for that matter. nothing to worry about. We just made a little side trip to Seattle. No big deal. If you really must know, we just wanted to see about a certain building. It’s called the Escala and yes it’s from the books. We didn’t realize it actually existed and just wanted to see it in person. So are we good? Please don’t get upset, it’s not like I am getting “obsessive” over these books or anything. Twilight forever babes:) Talk soon, xo Michele _________________________________________________________________________ So that’s a glimpse of how things started. And there is much more to that story. If you are interested in seeing how this all plays out, please let me know and I will continue to share with you the dramatic love triangle that has me torn between furry feet and twitchy palms. Comments welcome, and as always thanks for your support. xo
Good evening lovely people who are reading my blog! Of course, its 12:30 so it will probably be morning when most of you read this. A quick thank you for taking the time to do so, and please follow me on twitter! (@bale4fifty).
So, where did I leave off? No, not referring to my Charlie Brown’s teacher rant a post ago (whah whah whah, swagger wagon, whah whah whah whah whah)… I think it was me freaking out that I couldn’t get to Bethesda for my bracelet. Geez, I think I freak out a lot. You learn a thing or two about yourself with this blogging. But don’t tell my husband I admitted that…it would reverse tons of arguments from the past. Anyways, stay on track Michele before we start spewing at the mouth again..and stop talking to yourself, so not attractive.
In a nutshell, Kelly’s awesome friend Reenie agreed to do a 3 hour roundtrip car ride to fill in for me so that I would have my precious bracelet. (trying hard not to make a Gollum quote at this moment..oh crap but its screaming in my head right now. “My precious” ←insert Gollum voice). Ok done..not even a Lord of the Rings fan but that was sort of unavoidable. So got “my precious”, dang it sorry. So my poor friends, Kelly and Erica would now have to get back in the car only 4 hours later to do the trip again! We wanted to get there as early as possible, not knowing what the crowds would be like!
Living by the rule of never showing up anywhere without a little something something for the hostess of a party, I go to work on some special cupcakes for E L James. I run a cupcake business from my home called Oh Baked Goodness! and would love Ms. James to sample a few! In the end, I was pretty happy with my Fifty Shades of Grey cupcakes, but nervous as hell to actually give them to her.
So we all jump in the swagger wagon and head to the Barnes & Noble. Lovely ride since we boot up the Fifty Shades soundtrack and envision ourselves riding with Christian in the Audi R8. Gotta say that when the Thomas Tallis song comes on, you know the one that Christian tells Ana he’s always wanted to have sex to, it’s very distracting. So not a “look at us hot mamas cruising to meet E L” kinda song. Well, I can only speak for myself, but it’s more a “this song is putting me in the red room of pain with Christian and here come the inappropriate thoughts. And Erica is telling me directions but I can’t concentrate because my mask is on and the earbuds make it hard to hear.” Ok, we’ll just hit the arrow for the next song. Problem diverted by Toxic and I always giggle because one of my daycare cuties told me that song freaks her out.
So fyi, Bethesda is one hopping town! Right where the Barnes and Noble is, there are tons of restaurants, unique shops, and one big outdoor party! Loved it, and have got to get back there soon.
Once inside the bookstore, I am feeling like a kid on Christmas Eve. The anticipation and excitement of what’s to come. And it’s in the air too. Small groups of girlfriends just chilling throughout the store, whispering and wondering the same things as the group next to them. We are all giddy schoolgirls-kinda like my daughter getting ready to watch Justin Bieber this morning on the Today show.
So we get in line and just hang with the rest of the 500+ greysessed fans! So fun- sharing stories, sizing each other up by comparing the # of times we’ve read the books. (5 times each for me to date. “You’re like my own personal brand of heroin.”) Oh wait, wrong obsession.
But yes Christian, you are an addiction. To me and every one if these women standing here. What’s amazing is the conviction in All of our voices as we proudly state who is “My Christian.” You can hear random names being thrown around. And all the reasoning behind their decisions. This is Fight Club waiting to happen. We all stand there, shaking our heads to show our understanding of why William Levy just has to be Fifty. But really we are all thinking “Sister, you crazy like Elena and I’ll throw a lemon martini in your face if you diss MY Christian.” Well maybe no martini but we are all standing with an awful tight grip on our books that could leave a nice shade of pink;) Seriously though, a great crowd of women with one goal in mind. To convince E L to cast their Christian;) Well probably not far from the truth, but we were all just really psyched to meet the lady who put kinky fuckery into our everyday conversation.
And then the moment of truth arrives. We hear the clapping and start looking around for our first glimpse. And then they introduce her Royal Highness!!! We all freak out of course, and then start primping quickly as if with one look, Ms. James will pluck us from line and declare we play Ana in the movie. Ok, well I thought that for a moment at least. But then I remembered I’m Asian and probably not sporting the right eyes that day. All good though because I’ve got cupcakes. And not just any cupcakes. First off, who cannot be happy over a baked good? Exactly. And a baked good with silver balls on them. And silver ties. And the Audi symbol. Oh yeah, this Asian gonna win Ms. James over with her cupcakes. And she better because this Asian is starting to get sweaty palms. Kelly and I have realized how pathetic and stupid we get in the presence of stardom. As I realize how long this story has gotten, I’ll get to the point and just say we’ve been to a Twilight convention or two. Not our shining moment when meeting Chaske Spencer (aka Sam). Met him twice including in an elevator ( go figure) and froze up like a pint of Ben & Jerry’s. Same when we got a picture with him. Imagine two frozen popsicles with smiles on either side of Chaske! So yes, suddenly I am wigging out in my head, I’m soooo nervous! Thank goodness for Erica, who flogged our asses and got us to buck up and put our big girl panties on.
E L was a treasure to be cherished! So sweet. So down to earth and humble. Almost lost my shit when I walked up to her but thank god the cupcakes speak for themselves! Best moment ever! She’s a ray of sunshine- could see us hanging in the swagger wagon and chilling to the Fifty soundtrack. As long as it’s not Thomas Thallis….. Can we say awwwkward!
Please check out the pics from the best day ever!!!Sorry, couldnt upload video right now. As always thank you for reading this ridiculously long post. Are you even still reading? Geez I just had vomit of the fingers on this one. Love to you all and Laters baby©
“…we’re scum! We suck!”( bending down and paying homage). No, this is not Wayne and Garth from Wayne’s World meeting Alice Cooper. This is thing 1 and thing 2 (aka Michele and Kelly) meeting our beloved E L James herself!!! *note the shouty exclamation points!!!!!*. Yes, it’s true. In the hype of all things fifty in our lives at that very moment, our creator of all things sacred was coming to Maryland for a book signing. Are you kidding me? Kissing the Escala building in March and now this? Oh yeah, jump into the swagger wagon sister, we are going on a road trip! This was Ben & Jerry’s vanilla, the Red Room of Pain, and “that” silver tie all rolled into one!
Screeeeech….the braking sound of the swagger wagon. “What? I need a bracelet to get a book signed and I have to be there in person to get my bracelet?” umm…buzz kill. I do daycare and have to pick up my daughter from preschool. Clearly cannot do a 3 hour roundtrip car ride with daycare kids in tow. Could you imagine that conversation? “is it ok to bring your child to Bethesda this morning? I need a bracelet so I can get my precious book signed? Yes, the book that keeps me up til 3 in the morning and why you always see a coffee mug permanently placed in my left hand. Yes that’s the one. Ok if we go?”
Agreed, not a good conversation to tighten the parent/daycare provider relationship. So what’s a nice girl with a slight greysession to do? FREAK OUT is what. Call Kelly and freak out! Palms twitching while still holding my permanent coffee mug, and freaking out! Cannot miss E L James. Stay tuned for the next blog to hear how it all goes down. (truth be told, it’s 1:30 am and this girl needs to get to sleep. Would like to finish but then I’d need a permanent coffee mug in each hand tomorrow. Then how am I supposed to pick up any daycare kids? Another conversation not so good for the parent/ daycare relationship). Night and laters baby. Thanks for reading:)
↓ *yes that’s Kelly and me (Kelly’s the redhead, and I’m the Asian;) ) and yes, I am aware that Vogue is not calling anytime soon. It’s actually a still from the video taken in the parking garage. I don’t think the geniuses we are ever took an actual photo. But there we are, all excited and twitchy!!!