In honor of the Hunger Games DVD release that I sadly forgot about last night, I’m reposting this 50 shades meets Hunger Games piece! I’ve added a little more to it as well. Enjoy! Xo
Good afternoon GREYSessed readers! With the ongoing talk/debate/campaigning for the casting of Christian Grey, I fear the awaiting anarchy in the Fifty Shades world. Because we all know that only one, yes one, lucky man will have his life changed as he moves into his awaiting fishbowl. The whole process reminds me a bit of the Hunger Games, with the actors fighting to the death. And only one victor will be standing after Ms.James chooses from that cornucopia of tributes that in the words of Katniss Everdeen have said, “I volunteer as tribute.”
Because who wouldn’t want to covet this role of a lifetime? And wouldn’t it be a great Fifty Games to watch? Imagine Matt, Ian, Christian, Alex, William, just to name a few tributes, fighting it out for the role of Chtistian Grey? Could you imagine the training facility and the commentating? “We are here at the Fifty Shades training. And boy what a group of talent. Look at how William shines in the flogging department. How does he get it to make that sound?” “Oh but don’t count out Christian Bale, yes he may have a few years on these guys, but look at him catwalk. He’s really working that suit and grey tie. I bet he gets extra points for that little turn at the end there. Very Christian Grey with the swagger. Oh and nice ass.”
“And over in the silver balls area is Ian. Look at how he handles the balls. Such precision, he’s been working on his technique for sure.”
“There’s Matt in the Grey Enterprises area. Yes, sitting behind that desk, and emailing on the Blackberry. Very Christian indeed. Ms. James is sure got her work cut out for her.”
“And look at Ryan over in the Red Room. Oh the boy can fill out some ripped jeans for sure. He’s working on cable ties and handcuff maneuvering. He can handcuff me for sure!”
“All these tributes have shown great potential. But we’ll really separate the men from the boys when we put them in the ring of Seattle and throw in a vicious Elena. Let’s see who can handle her while we make it thunderstorm. Perhaps we’ll make Taylor disappear at the same time. Let’s see who can do twitchy, fully- angered Christian in technicolor then!”
And of course Ms E L James herself should be cast as Head Gamemaker. Controlling all the elements of the games, including weather, music, random unforeseen circumstances to make a palm go twitchy, and most important, the kinky fuckery. Because we all agree that we need to know the actor cast needs to put the kink in the fuckery. We want full assurance that the adult bibs and depends diapers are put to good use!
Oh my, I’m laughing hysterically over this whole scenario that’s in my head. The visual I have of all the actors running around in the black lycra exercise suits, running around a mock stage of Seattle and the Red Room competing for Christian Grey! Forget the Olympics, bring on the Fifty Shades Games!
So, back to my original thought which was the anarchy to come when one tribute is left standing. I know I am stressing about that day. And I hope I have full warning that it’s coming. I don’t want to stumble upon it when I’m in Target and have to get medical assistance from passing out. I have a reputation to uphold there. Perhaps Ms. James will hold a scheduled news conference so I can be in the privacy of my own home, with Dr. Flynn on call for my expected breakdown.
So for the better good of my mental state, and all of yours, a PCA- Post Casting Agreement is currently being drafted for us all to sign. It’s from your own Christian Grey, whomever that may be. When you receive it, please read thru it thoroughly and sign. But please make sure you take this seriously or your GREYsessed card will be taken away. Good luck and may the odds be ever in your favor!